Ohayu Gozaimasu and all that stuff.
I’m back from Tokyo, chillin’ in the buff
in a bath in a back room, didn’t hide my tattoos,
chattin’ with a Russian hostess because I have to.
Light blue dress, scar on her lip. Bad English.
Bored, two droopy eyelids,
pushin’ shochu, southern bourbon and nori.
Candy-shaped cheese and a really sad story.
Not lookin’ for help. She’ll do it herself.
A little light on Yen, more booze from the shelf.
I knew at that moment that my primary opponent
was super-skilled at getting’ loaded.
#1 Kyabajo!
She got me line. If I didn’t mind
we could go to Shinjuku for some quality time.
I knew when she said it that if I went I’d regret it,
but here I go, I give her credit.
#1 Kyabajo!

You’re tall, smart, and handsome.

Roppongi Hills. 100,000 Yen bills.
52nd floor, nine-course French meals.
I used to take the train but now she’s got me rentin’ wheels.
I guess it’s all due to this Kyaba girl’s skills.
I never even kissed her. Maybe on the cheek and
now I’m grabbin’ gifts to give her like every weekend.
Guess what? She wants to travel home.
She’d like to get ahead and really needs a student loan.
She knows I’m gaijin, but that doesn’t mean
that we can’t get together when she has her degree.
Yeah it’s true I’m pursuin’ a girl that knows what she’s doin’.
My bottom line is in ruin from #1 Kyabajo.
I told her goodbye ‘cause I had to fly

back to Seattle, she brushed a tear from eye.
I don’t know why I did it, but I agreed to stick with it,
handed my address and digits to #1 Kyabajo.

You’re so handsome. Let’s get lost in
conversation. Yes, it’s costin’
you but maybe we might change the
way we’re playing. You won’t pay me.
You’re so different. I’ve not felt this
disinterest in what your wealth is.
So let’s go out shopping and have lots to drink.
You’re so charming and handsome.

My budget’s kinda tight, man I’m stretched paper-thin.
I got spreadsheets stacked, track receipts to the cent
and I’m hiding where I went. I know it’s not right.
I help her pay her rent though I love my wife.
I’m possessed. Will power won’t manifest.
I tell myself I’m gonna quit, but then I get another text
that she needs another check to help a poor friend.
Attached another pick with a little more skin.
Now my mind is moving fast.
She likes me now, but it might not last.
The more I flow, then the more she shows
and now I know that I’m in her trap.
I don’t want to be the one to sit back, relax,
be that dude that missed his chance.
Don’t send money, then I miss romance.
Never get more, never in those pants.
Moshi mosh. I’m on the phone.
Natasha-san, are you alone?
She said so desu, and I confessed that my ‘kane is almost gone.
*GASP!* Yes it’s true.
But who needs money when I got you?
I heard a click and it happened quick and she said
“Me, that’s who. Now we’re through.

So let’s go out shopping and have lots to drink.
You’re so charming and handsome.